Christmas Time is Here!

I love Christmas. I've loved Christmas since I was a little girl. I remember my dad loving Christmas. Every Christmas eve we would read the story of Christ's birth before going to bed early so Santa could come then on Christmas morning we would all sit by the door waiting for mom to get up while dad made biscuits and gravy for breakfast. Christmas music always played and the house always smelled like pumpkin pie. But my mom and dad divorced years ago and Christmas hasn't been like that for me since I was twelve. I have always been sad about that. But I discovered this year that all those good memories that I have of Christmas are memories that I can carry with me and even carry on to my own family. I do love Christmas. And what is more important than the music and the smells or even the stories are what Christmas means and what we truly celebrate. Christ was born to save us all and Christmas is a time to spend together as a family to utilize the sacrifice he made and to celebrate and give thanks. I am so happy for the wonderful life I have, the wonderful memories of past, and the wonderful future I am so excited for.

I Destroyed the Plague...You're Welcome.

So, I live in an apartment with five other women. You would think that it would be so clean, because stereotypically women are clean. Keyword: Stereotypically. I hate stereotypes. Our apartment is disgusting 6/7 days of the week. And depending on your standards you could push that to 7/7 days of the week. I am super OCD about being clean and this creates a dilemma. It truly does. Like being terrified of catching the black plague from our bathroom, because I'm pretty sure it carried it. But no more my friends, no more. I have saved myself, and the rest of the world, the trouble of having to come up with a vaccine for the plague by destroying it before it spread. The bathroom is clean! It is a miracle!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

FINALS ARE OVER MY FRIENDS!!! What? You thought I was talking about Christmas?!?! Psh...Christmas is only half the reason I love December. The other half is getting out of school and never having to look back at this place that makes me do horrible unspeakable acts of homework again. Or at least not for 4 weeks, which is almost forever. My finals are over. Can I get a hallelujah? I can finally focus solely on life and not lock myself up studying all the flippin' time. And to inspire you to do the same. This is how I'm feeling today:

Welcome to Logan

Where your nose hairs freeze half the year! This week has been so flippin' cold. I got on the bus yesterday morning at 7 (I had a horrible horrible final) and the bus driver goes "Fun fact everyone: It is currently -16 degrees outside, Happy finals week!". He clearly has a different definition of fun than me. It was so cold. I'm just glad I don't live in Russia I would die.
On other notes. I saw the movie Frozen. So so so cute! I liked it more than Tangled which is saying something.
Finals week is upon us. Monday was my worst day and it is over! Yay! Now I just have to survive the rest of the week so that I can go home. Home is good. Home is where my best friend is. And I miss him. I also don't have to think about school again for four whole weeks. Those weeks are going to be glorious!

The Most Awkward Laundry Experiences

At my apartment building we have a laundry room, a community laundry room because I was too cheap to find an apartment with it's own washing machine so now I community launder with the rest of the wonderful citizens of Continental. It's a laundry party. There is one problem with our wonderful community laundering experience: I am a woman and sometimes there are men. In fact statistically it's probably 50% of the time if there is someone in the laundry at the same time as me it's going to be a man. I feel like laundry rooms should be like bathrooms; we should have one for women and one for men. I mean honestly I have more privacy in the bathroom then I do in the laundry room, which now that I think about it is probably how it should be. But it's so awkward to be sitting there all puttin' my laundry in the washer and in walks a man, usually a friendly one too. Then they want to talk to you and it's all like yes please continue conversing with me about how warm it is today while I subtly try to stick my bra here between my two pairs of jeans and smuggle it into the washer without you noticing. I love when that happens! It's like the best moment of my life. The laundry room is not like online dating we don't go there with the purpose of meeting someone we go there to put clothes in the washer. And I just want to do it alone!

I Am Alive. And Incredibly Happy Too!

The month of November has definitely been an interesting one folks. But it has been so amazing!! I am very happy to say that N is home from his mission and I love him. A lot. Like more than I ever thought possible. He is pretty amazing you guys. This month has been crazy I feel like it has gone by so quickly! It is already the nineteenth and December is quickly approaching. Christmas is upon us! I love Christmas and this Christmas is going to be the best Christmas yet and I am very excited for it. Even if I am incredibly poor because my work is cutting my hours back drastically. I'm looking for a new job. Looking for a new job is not fun. On the positive side I have had multiple job interviews so hopefully I find something soon. Until then I just get to be poor. It's a fun life. I should be concerned but I just can't find it in me because I am so so so happy! Life is good! Go eat some ice-cream for me.

The Awkwardness of Not Being a Parent

I have been to two baby showers in my entire existence. One was when I was in high school and I had two young women's leaders who were due about a week apart. That baby shower really was like a party to me because the young women had been invited so I just sat at the "young peoples" table and talked about clearly not babies. I was completely oblivious to any other conversation that could have been going on. Which is why I was completely unprepared for what was to come. The second baby shower I've gone to was last week, and it was for my beautiful "sister-in-law". Do you know what people talk about at baby showers?!? Not fun things people. Not fun things. I am terrified to have children now. I don't want to go through labor. It sounds terrifying and horrible and disgusting. And then there are repercussions for months afterwards. Horrible, horrible repercussions. Why does anyone want to do this? Why can't men have babies? I'd much rather they do it than me. Just sayin'. The only good I found in this is that women do do this. And then they do it again. And again. And sometimes again. So, there must be something pretty amazing about having a baby that makes all that misery okay to deal with. I'm not saying I'd like to jump on the pregnancy band wagon anytime soon but I am really glad to have family and friends who have gone before me to show me that even though they pretend it's horrible it is still a pretty amazing thing. And I can't wait to meet my little nephew or niece.

Living is a Side Effect of Death

Should I be doing my homework? Yes. But if I was always doing my homework when I was supposed to be you would never read anything on here ever. Life is crazy friends! I feel like I am moving in fast forward and I am not sure how I like it yet. It's already the middle of October! Didn't this month just start? I have too much to do and too little time to do it in. I could really use that time machine now, for purposes other than becoming a pregnant teenager (long story-some of you will get it).
In other news I have recently discovered a few things about myself that I was unaware of until this last week or so:
1. I am terrified of being an astronaut. (If you haven't seen the movie gravity it's really good).
2. I am a bit of a hypochondriac and I believe doctors are the closest thing to angels you could possibly get. This explains why my mom always waited days after I told her I needed to see a doctor before she took me.
3. I'm slightly night blind. It's cool, I haven't died yet so I should be fine. My grandma is night blind and she's been driving at night for years now. If she can do it then so can I.
4. I tried a plum for the first time. Well, it was a dried plum but it still counts. (This isn't something new I discovered about myself I just wanted you to know).
Life is cRaZy!! I have two assignments due by the end of today another due tomorrow and a test due Wednesday. I looooove school soooooooo much. Not to mention I really need to get caught up on a bunch of stuff before the end of this month or I'm going to hate my life. More than I currently do.
Au Revoir peeps! (I think that means good bye but I'm not sure because I don't speak French).

Mount Doom

When my bedroom starts to look like Mount Doom you know it's been a stressful few weeks. It's getting pretty bad. I can barely get into my closet anymore. But what fun would it be to clean it up?

For your viewing pleasures:

In other news...you know that history test that gave me nightmares. I GOT A FLIPPIN' A!!!!! I never saw that coming, not in a million years.

OcToBeR!!!!

Peeps! We are now in the month of October! It took long enough to get here! This is what I feel like inside, don't get too many ideas though. I am soooo not this flexible. But I AM SO FLIPPIN' EXCITED!!! It's going to be a great month folks! 27 MORE DAYS!!

I am a Terrible Person Who Does Terrible Things & I Hate History

I have been up since 4:30 this morning, and in between 12 and 4:30 when one might think sleeping sounds nice my body was being plagued by nightmares of my history test. I got like 12.5 minutes of sleep last night you guys! It's going to be a very hard day. I've decided to write a blog post right now for who knows what reason because it's not going to make sense and if it does make sense it's probably going to be one of those posts I look back on and contemplate hitting the delete button. I have no idea why I do the things I do.
I just finished my history test, exactly 15 minutes ago. It was horrible! Why do I need history? I keep wondering this. I'm a social work major, I don't really think I need to know why Britain rose to power. Besides that, most of my academic career all I do is memorize things, regurgitate them, and then forget them. History will be no different, I'm not even going to remember any of this stuff. I really hate history. Reading a history book is like reading the medical encyclopedia for me. NONE OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE! Which is why studying was a stressful nightmare and it literally gave me nightmares. I didn't sleep at all last night. When I woke up, for like the gazillionth time, at 4:30 I finally gave up and just started studying some more. If I don't get at least a 70 on this exam I'm going to cry.
I ditched my practice class this week you guys. I ditched it to go to Crystal Hot Springs, which is basically a really big hot tub. And I don't regret anything. I am a terrible human being. A terribly irresponsible human being. But it's the first time I have ditched a class this semester, which is pretty awesome considering I sort of have a history of ditching class.
I killed a man's motorcycle yesterday. Okay, kill is exaggerating, I barely tapped it. And it didn't look like anything was wrong at all, no scratches or anything. I put a note on it and then left and now I feel like a criminal. I am feeling extremely guilty about hitting his bike. I'm trying not to but I feel really bad. And now I have anxiety that any second he is going to call me and tell me his bike is irreparable and that it's all my fault and that I should die. I am not kidding that's literally what I've been thinking he will say, I am really scared.
I am a terrible terrible person you guys, and now I'm going to go eat a hot pocket and cry myself into a nap.
On the positive-September is almost over!!!

Just Me, Avoiding my Homework

You guys want to see a beautiful picture?

That there is my LITTLE chain!! Look how little it is! Remember waaaaay back when it stretched through the entire living room. It's sooooo small now! 43 links. There are only 43 links left. Do you know what that means 43 MORE DAYS!!! That's less than two months!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!! I just needed you to see this. That's all. I love you all! -Except for the people who come here from random sights and have no idea what I'm even talking about-I don't really love you, don't get me wrong I'm sure if given the chance we would be great friends but seeing as I've never met you and will never even know you are reading this we don't have much of a chance. But everyone else, I love you!! And I'm sorry but you get to put up with this for 43 more days. But at least it's only 43 MORE DAYS!!!!!!

Count Your Blessings, Name them or At Least 1,000 of Them

This week I was reading the Ensign, church magazine, and their was an article titled "1,000 Things to Be Grateful For". In the article Elder Romney talks about his daughter having a school assignment to write an essay on 100 things she is grateful for. She ends up going above and beyond the requirement and coming up with 1,000 things. Well, anyone who knows me knows I complain, A LOT. In reality I shouldn't because I have so much in life to be grateful for. So, I decided to accept this article as my own personal challenge and come up with 1,000 things to be grateful for. All I do at work all day is make phone calls so I figured that's when I will write up my list and it shouldn't take me too long. It is actually a lot harder than it seems. I only have like 200 so far! I know I have a lot to be grateful for I just can't remember what it all is...

Here's the link to the article (in case you were interested) http://www.lds.org/ensign/2013/09/1000-things-to-be-thankful-for?lang=eng

Sometimes I Do Very Stupid Things

This last week was awesome. Just awesome. No, it really wasn't that bad, besides the whole being blinded and embarrassed in front of an attractive man. On Friday I got a flat tire. That was very exciting. And of course I had no idea what to do because I know less than nothing about vehicles. My knowledge of my car goes as far as I press this lever with my foot and it goes and I press this lever with my foot and it stops. So I do what I always do when I am in crisis mode and I called my "sister" who brought my brother in law down to change my tire. They take really good care of me. On other notes I have a paper due in about six hours that I have yet to do because (I believed) I didn't have the textbook yet and I have been waiting for it to come in the mail. I have been freaking out for the last hour about how in the world I was going to write my paper without the book when I realized the book arrived almost two weeks ago. Yes, I really just did that. My life rocks you guys. On the positive I can now stop freaking out about how I'm going to write that paper and start freaking out about whether I will get it written in time. But at least I know I have the book now?

Blinded By the Light

Today I went to the eye doctor. It was a typical visit. I haven't seen my eye doctor in a year. You know you're prescription is memorable when the doctor pulls your file up on the computer and goes "oh...I remember you!". Yep, that's me. It was a less than exciting trip, but honestly I really don't mind going to the eye doctor, it's kind of fun even. Today he dilated my eyes though. I haven't had my eyes dilated in a while but I don't remember it being that terrible. The trouble is he also has to numb my eyes in order to, well I actually don't really know why he numbs my eyes but he does. So, my eyes are dilated and numb and heavy (the numbing stuff makes my eyelids feel heavy). Any responsible person would then leave the doctors office with her designated driver. But who ever said I was responsible? I still thought I could drive! I got outside in a complete daze (dilation makes your eyes sensitive to light) and couldn't find my car or even my way to the parking lot from the door. Some really sweet man came over and asked if I was okay or lost and I told him I couldn't really see so I couldn't find my car. Probably not the right thing to say because then he looked very shocked and was all "you can't see? and you are looking for your car? are you going to drive your car?!?!?". Oops. Yes. I explained that it was just the sun and I had sunglasses in the car and he helped me find my car. He was really nice and genuinely concerned for my safety, or for the safety of everyone I would encounter anyways. I really shouldn't have been driving though I'm surprised I didn't die. Don't worry, I made it home and my eyes are mostly recovered now. Moral: Felicia needs to be a little more responsible about her "special eye condition".

A Not So Surprising Confession

Anyone who knows me knows I love to people watch and along with that comes what I call people listening. However, most people know "people listening" as eavesdropping and it is most commonly frowned upon in our society. In my opinion, you shouldn't have a conversation in public without expecting other people to listen in. I won't judge you if you listen to what I'm saying, you might judge me when you are done hearing it, but I won't judge you for listening. People listening is one of my favorite past times. I've heard people breaking up with each other, I've heard awkward stories about pregnant spouses, today I heard a girl call her boyfriend fat in a not so subtle way (she thought it was pretty subtle, I'm sure). Storytime? The conversation went like this:
Girl: So, I think you should take a P.E. class.
Guy: Really? Like badminton or dancing?
Girl: I was thinking something more active...
Guy: Woah! Okay...ya...I see where this is going...thanks a lot.
Girl: No, no, no! I just meant maybe it would be fun...we could do it together...?
I had to try not to laugh. People tend to not like it when you listen to their conversations, they like it even less when you start laughing at them. But it was really funny!

Everyone Needs a Theme Song

I have picked my theme song for this semester, and maybe for the next few semesters, or perhaps life in general. But right now this is how I'm feeling and this is what's getting me through the day. The movie is Princess and the Frog for those of you who don't know, you probably all know, who am I kidding, why would I be friends with you if you didn't? :) Enjoy!

One Week Down. Fourteen More to Go.

What a crazy month! I haven't posted, please forgive me the three people who read this, actually we are down to two I think, if that. August has been the most insane busy month ever. And I'm afraid with school and my life the way it is I might only get around to posting once a month. But I promise to post at least that and I will really try to post a little more often than that. This schedule is just really hard to work around and it's going to take some time to get a routine down.
We have moved! It's so great, mostly because I don't have to worry about wanting to murder the girl living down the hall. And our new roommates seem pleasant enough. Moving in was an absolute mess. Our manager is less than organized so that was a party, but we survived and here we are.
 School started this week. I am a JUNIOR! It feels so weird to be this far along. It doesn't seem that long ago that I was moving away to college. It's been a great trip and I'm so exciting for these next two years! It has been the most exhausting week, though. My schedule is super sporadic with classes in the morning, classes at night, and everything else in between -plus work. I'm still getting used to it and it's definitely tiring me out. I feel as though I have packed an entire semester into this one suuuuuper long week. It's been a roller coaster of emotions from wanting to curl into a ball, to being so excited about how great my classes seem, to wondering why I'm even in college. BUT there is no where else I would rather be and sometimes you just have to stop and remind yourself to enjoy the chaos, because in my life there is always some form of chaos and at least this form is good.
I love my classes! I really do. This semester is already causing me more stress than any of my other semesters put together but I really really like my classes. With the exception of social stats, it's like words pretending to be math. I don't understand. But I even kind of like my history class, the teacher is kind of odd which inspires me to pay more attention which is good. It's going to be a very exhausting, very interesting, very stressful, very wonderful semester and I am actually really excited for it.
We are two days from September and I am finally starting to feel the countdown. You know what I mean. October is so so close! And I am so so excited! And scared! And sometimes I feel like puking! But I am so glad because my favorite person in the whole wide world is coming home and I can't wait! It's finally hitting me you guys and soon we are going to be hitting that stage where it's all I ever talk about so please forgive me now because I know it's going to happen and I won't be feeling very apologetic when it does.
Life is good! Crazy crazy good!

A Week of Interesting Developments

First off, you are going to hate me because I titled this post a week of interesting developments but I'm not going to tell you what any of those developments are. Some of them aren't my secrets to tell, others are much too personal to tell. Isn't life a bummer? This week has been an adventure. One of my really good friends had her farewell, a month early, and I got to hang out and see some people that I haven't in awhile which was kind of fun. You know me, I love people!

Llama Fest!

Last weekend we went to llama fest and it was so so so so much fun!!! I got to pet lots of llamas and watch a llama race and hang out with some of the best people I know. So, for your enjoyment I am posting pictures. 

 Ka, Me, and K

 Our game faces are on.

 His breathe was really smelly

 Me and K waiting for the llama race to start!

The Krishna temple, soooo pretty!

It's a Good Day for a Concussion

Last week my "family" had a reunion up at the Lake. It was so much fun! I was sad to have to come home and go back to work. We ate lots of yummy food, played many a games (most of which I won), and were on the boat for 3/4 of the time we were there. Boating for me is a unique experience because I was once terrified of water, absolutely terrified. You couldn't get me anywhere near a boat let alone in a boat. But all that changed in the last four years and I love to go boating now. It probably has a lot to do with my "family's" enthusiasm towards all things water related, it's kind of contagious. And learning to swim my senior year, which is credited to my "sister". Last summer I learned to wake board and while I'm not sure I totally love it I really do like it. I think more than liking the actually sport I love that I can do it and that I am not afraid. It's exhilarating to know you've conquered something inside you that was holding you back from fully enjoying this beautiful world. The bad thing about wake-boarding are the falls, they hurt a lot. And since I'm still pretty new to it, and still learning, I tend to fall a lot. This week I totally face planted it hitting an edge and had the wind knocked out of me. My "brother" had to pull me out of the water and my head felt like a ton of bricks on my shoulders. Don't worry, all is good now and I can't wait to do it again!

A Few Pictures A Little Late

 The San Diego Temple with some of my "family". That temple was beautiful! The inside was even more spectacular than this outside, if you can imagine.

 Baby K's first time in the ocean! We were both nervous!

You can't tell but my feet are freezing cold. My "sister", S, made me take this picture so I had something to send to N. 

A Healthy Dose of Over-Preparation

Life is too short for me not to prepare for the next fifty years. I have an addiction. I like to know exactly what, when, and where I will be five years before I am there. The other day I saw a little quote by a Mr. or Mrs. (I'm not really sure) Lao Tzu it said "If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present." Now, this made me think for a few reasons first off, I have acute anxiety and sometimes it makes me sick to my stomach with worry over things I mostly can't control. Also, I began thinking the other day (as I was planning my wedding and how many kids I was going to have and in which month my first child was going to be born [ya, I told ya!]) about how so much of my, and I'm sure others, happiness lies but only a few steps into the future, but we will never get there. We will take those few steps and realize happiness is really only a few steps more. I believe very strongly that my thinking this is due to over preparing myself for life. The thing is you can't prepare for life, at least not to the extent I try. You have to take it how it is and love it! Otherwise, your happiness will always be a few steps ahead of you. It's my new goal to let go of the future just a little and try living a little bit more in the present.

And They Walked and Walked and Walked and....

This past weekend my car was feeling a little down. The weather outside was so hot, we are in a heat wave right now and it was triple digit temperatures. Well, I was feeling a little down so I wondered if it was just normal for Carlos (my car) to also be feeling a little slow. After, asking my "dad" about it we decided since I needed to get an oil change we would just have the shop look at it, just in case. So, Monday morning Carlos and I took a trip down to the repair shop. Now, the repair shop is on 3900 North and I live on 1000 North. I'm not sure where my brain was on Monday morning but it definitely wasn't in my head because for some reason I thought I could walk home and survive the venture. That is more than just some little jaunt! I began my walk home and after fearing for my life a few times on the main road (there is no sidewalk) I decided I needed to take a side road, where there are no bus stops. I made it to 2200 and had no idea how I was going to make it the other 12 blocks. Now, these are not normal blocks, these are country blocks that last FOREVER. My "sister" lives up 2200 and I decided her house seemed a lot more appealing than my apartment at this point. I turned up the street and headed towards her block but when I got there she wasn't home! Someone must have been looking out for me because by some miracle the back door was open. And that is how M came home to me crashed out on her couch watching Cake Boss. It was a really long walk.

P.S. Carlos is fine. I paid them an extra 40 dollars to tell me nothing was wrong with him and that it was just the heat but, at least I didn't have to pay for a huge repair.

The Tyranny of 3" Godzilla

Last week as I was sweeping the kitchen Ka and I noticed a village being built on the foundation of popcorn. It was a dilemma, indeed. To the small, mostly innocent ants beneath Ka's feet (I was supervising on a nearby chair [and yes I do use supervising and squealing synonymously]) she must have looked like a giant dragon whose only joy in life was tap dancing on the unsightly souls of hungry insects. Actually, that pretty much describes her-just replace unsightly with beautiful and insects with Felicia. The poor ants went running for their lives, their children's lives, and their grandchildren's lives, but to no avail because the foot of Ka is all powerful and it leaves no survivors. As she swept up there little corpses and I "supervised" some more she noticed something black, ugly, much bigger than an ant, and zombie looking. Godzilla of the insect world had been living, breathing, eating, and crawling all over our kitchen for who knows how long! And now he was dead, just lying there all over our floor. Needless to say Mr. Centipede caused a lot of "supervising" on my part.

Is There Even a Way to Title This?

I work at a call center, most of you (the two people who read this) know that. It's a lovely job consisting of mostly getting yelled at, occasionally having someone cry into the phone at you, some swearing, and some very incredibly awkward personal confessions from people you don't know and have never met. It's awesome! Even better is our company's recent decision to conduct surveys that clearly invade the huge personal space bubble that exists in ones mind. You know, those things that exist but you don't want to talk about? Well, I might call you and ask you to talk about them! Example One: We have a new survey for Stanford University called "Couples". Basically we call and ask questions about your relationship. My favorite questions: How attractive would you rate yourself? How attractive would you rate your partner? Yea, because people are going to tell you the truth when their gf/bf/spouse/intimate lover/dog/whatever floats your boat is sitting next to them. Yea... Example Two: This one is my favorite! It's a survey called TP Study. If you are thinking "no, tp stands for something else." You are wrong, it stands for toilet paper. We call and ask people when the last time they used the restroom was and how they would rate the flushability of their toilet paper. But that isn't the best or worst part! They have been asked to record the flushability of their toilet paper. Like video record. I guess somebody has to do it, right? I'm just glad I'm not the person who has to watch all of those videos....

Running is for Runners. Driving is for Drivers.

My "family" ran Ragnar this last weekend. For those of you like me who don't run or have any idea what it is runners do or find joy in you may not know what Ragnar is. Ragnar is a relay race with two teams of six people each. The one my family runs is called the Wasatch Back; it's from Logan to Park City. Crazy, right? Yes! Well, each year they run we have a little party in Huntsville in between vans to play and eat; or if you're a runner to sleep. It's way fun, and really the greatest part of my family's tradition. So, I went on my merry way to drive to Huntsville, which I, myself have never driven by myself. And got lost. I get lost a lot guys, it happens to everyone, just to me more often than is ordinary. I don't know what it is. I think the road signs have it out for me and so they change when they see me coming so that I go the wrong way. It isn't my fault. Eventually, my "dad" called and directed me in the right way, after figuring out what exactly the right way was. I was on the right track, though! And then the road I was supposed to take was blocked for runners. Why?!?! I get it runners gotta run, but hey drivers (AKA Felicia) gotta drive! I got there...eventually. But it was a stressful, very scenic drive.

Good Byes & Blessings

This week one of my favorite people will head out into the world of gospel spreading as she enters the MTC on Wednesday. Yay! And Boo! It's a confusing feeling to be excited for your friend and sad she will be gone at the same time. But I am very happy for her and she is going to make a wonderful missionary. And she gave a fabulous talk on Sunday!

I have fun friends. :)

I learned a valuable lesson this week and built a stronger testimony of tithing. I fully believe in and support the saying "fake it til' you make it". This is not gospel doctrine so do not quote me on it. But it is something that has beneficial in my life especially with the principle of tithing. I have never experienced the amazing miracle or blessings that come when you pay your tithing. I have heard the stories and I know deep down that paying my tithing is the right thing to do. I have to pay my tithing in order to attend the temple, and I know the temple is where I need to be. But tithing has always been a principle that I have followed blindly without a real testimony of. Wherein lies the "fake it til' you make it". I knew that one day I would gain a testimony of the principle of tithing but how was I supposed to gain a testimony if I didn't live it? So I did. It has been hard especially this last year when money has not been in surplus for me. And especially this last month. My rent for next semester is due in a week. I am almost three hundred dollars short of having enough. I didn't know what I was going to do. So, I paid my tithing having faith that the Lord would take care of me. And did He ever! I received an email today with my contract for housing. My payment is not only not due until August but it is also almost three hundred dollars less than I expected. I know I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and is always blessing me if I but only obey, and I am so grateful for that knowledge. 

My Mid Year Update

2013: the year my entire world goes, well there isn't really a word for it. It kind of feels like this: a;sdifjoajfiojdsofiosuiowrjowndkhoiuglkwefnjhuj. If you are saying "Felicia, that isn't even a word. That  doesn't make any sense, it's just a bunch of garble," then I have captured the emotion perfectly. Towards the end of my Junior year of high school, that's three years ago for those of you who are counting, my life turned upside down. I didn't think anything could be more stressful than changing schools, changing jobs, changing friends, changing families. And indeed at the time it was a most stressful time in my life. But looking back on it I felt completely at peace with everything that was happening. I knew every decision I had made was under the influence and loving hand of my Heavenly Father and that He knew exactly where it was I needed to be. Do not get me wrong that was the hardest year of my life, up to this point. I knew everything would be fine though because I was laid a very direct path to happiness with little obstacle besides my own emotion. 2013, I'm finding, is yet again to be a year of change. We are halfway through and the best is yet to come. I, again, know that a path has been laid and that if I follow in it I will find at the end, and perhaps through the journey, happiness. But this path looks so much scarier.  Sometimes I wish someone would make all the choices for me, then I could blame them if it all went wrong. But that's not how it works, and I'm finding that worse than receiving the answer you don't want is receiving one that tells you to decide for yourself what is right. It's all a little overwhelming. I am so excited for the change that my life is going to take, but I am also terrified. It's going to be a very interesting year folks. :)

My 2013 "Visual" Updates:

My best friend found someone worth leaving the single life for, that guy on the right is one extremely lucky fella.

 This awesome woman, who also happens to be my amazing friend, is going to Arizona in a few short months to serve her LDS mission. So proud of her! :)

That righteous, beautiful, friend of mine on the left is leaving in just two (ish) weeks to serve in the lucky state of Washington D.C./Virginia. She is going to be amazing! And the one on the right  has left our apartment :(, I will still see her lots though. :)

I don't think this picture needs an explanation as to how it has affected my life, and will affect my life in 2013. I love this school I will be really sad to not have the chance to be on campus everyday in the fall, but I'm very excited for my Brigham City adventures!

Just a few months ago my roommates decided to make me this super awesome Christmas gift, which stretched around our entire living room at the time. It's a countdown chain for the homecoming of one of greatest, most important people in the world to me and as you can see it's gotten a lot shorter since Christmas. What once used to stretch around our living room is now occupying only the tiny space that is the corner of my bedroom. It has 145 links today. It's incredible how quickly time flies without your realizing it. 

It's me! The most up to date picture anyone on the planet has of me, it was taken last night. Enjoy it,

because it's a terrible picture. This year is going to be the most interesting, by far, but hopefully it will be pretty great too.

It's Drop it Hot

The air conditioning at work has been broken for who knows how long and no one seems to want to fix it because, well there isn't really a reason, mostly people are lazy. The other day it was especially hot, it was probably 85 degrees outside and 10 degrees hotter inside our building. Fortunately, I had been seated by a window and so it was hot but bearable. The people sitting across from me weren't having such luck, they were baking like potatoes on a grill. One moment everything is as dandy as it can be inside a microwave and the next I hear a thump as the girl across from me decides to take a mid-afternoon nap under her desk. I work with really odd people so don't sound totally shocked and surprised when my first thought was that she really was taking a nap. It's weird but I work with weird people. I stopped thinking she was napping when the guy next to her, who was on a call, started kicking at her feet. I should have been concerned but the scene was so funny that I couldn't help but laugh. Yes, I know, I'm a terrible human being, remember that if you ever feel like passing out around me.
P.S. The girl is fine, and they are now fixing our air conditioning. :)

A 4 A.M. Surprise

Last night I went to bed around like 11:30, pretty close to normal any other day of the week, and I slept like a small child. Well, not exactly I kind of got hot so I pushed all my pillows to the bottom of the bed and my head was dangling off the side of the bed while my blanket was still wrapped around me all the way up to my neck because I HAVE TO HAVE A BLANKET. Yea, I sleep weird. But that isn't the point of my story. I laid dreaming a great dream. I can't exactly remember what it was I was just dreaming that I was plotting a very sneaky, very complicated, very awesome plot of some sort. There was a lot of thinking going on in my sleep last night. In the middle of my plot planning a hear a high pitched constant beeping of some sort. It wasn't my dream. I woke up to the smoke detector at FOUR IN THE MORNING. I look over thinking "well, somebody has to save K, since she could sleep through the apocalypse" and a throw something at her. It actually took her a second to register there was an enormously loud noise echoing through our apartment. Then I opened the door slightly hoping there was a good reason for the intrusion on my dream but knowing that would probably mean a fire and I was okay if there was no reason at all. Good news, no fire. Bad news, our smoke detector is clearly broken or going through it's terrible twos.

The Adventures of Handy Dandy Felicia

This past week I needed to get the safety inspection done on my car because my registration is up this month and of course I postponed until the last possible moment mostly because I'm poor but partly because I'm lazy. The only problem was a few months ago the mirror fell off my passenger side window. Not the whole thing just the glass part, you know the actual mirror. I was super tempted to just super glue it back on but then I worried it would fall off and break and buying a replacement would probably be more expensive than finding a proper way to fix it. The problem was I had no idea how to fix this stupid mirror so I trusted my dear good old friend google to figure it out for me. Turns out the world is full of stupid people (I won't say like me but really they were like me) who also have this same problem and trust the internet for solutions. Also, as it turns out the internet is not very good with the whole up close and personal hands on type stuff. In the end google wouldn't fix the mirror for me it only told me what glue to buy to fix it. Luckily, Wally world had the glue. I came home feeling so cool because I bought this awesome cool special glue and quickly realized I didn't know how to use the awesome cool special glue. I read the package. It sounded complicated. I needed to scrape all the old glue off the mirror before putting more glue on. My weapon of choice: a spoon. Did it work? No. So I returned to the kitchen wondering where I could find something to get the old glue off. Then I came across a knife. I thought to myself "Felicia, do you trust yourself with a knife? No. Do you have any other choice? No." 30 seconds later the knife and I had set out on an adventure back to the car. Everything was going grand and the knife was actually working pretty decently when the mirror slipped and sliced my finger. It was horrible! Blood began spilling onto my hand, it was gross. I felt like Bella after she got bit by the creepy blonde vampire in the first movie, except there was no creepy other blonde stalker vampire to stop the bleeding and almost kill me. I ran inside and put my hand under the faucet only to be astonished by how deep this little cut was. I probably needed stitches. But again with the poor thing and a little with the lazy thing, I didn't go get stitches. Instead I thought "Hey, there is some super glue in the drawer upstairs and really it's the same thing as stitches, right?" And so I did it. I super glued my finger shut. It burned. A LOT. And today I'm wondering, was that such a great idea? I guess if I die I will at least died knowing I fixed that stupid mirror on my car, it was totally worth it.

It's Not Me, It's You.

So, I'm not one to complain, wait, yes I am. In fact this entire blog is mostly me complaining about stuff. It really kind of is, that's sad. Well, I have to tell someone without actually telling someone because I am super irritated right now. At the end of the school year my dearest roommates went home, without me, and left me here. I am still traumatized over it. Every once in awhile it starts pouring like the scene from The Notebook when Ryan Gosling and what's her name make up and realize they still love each other and that he sent her letters every day, except no one is sending me letters every day and I don't really love anyone at least not in that way and it's not actually raining...so mostly it's not like that scene and I can't remember where I was going with that, whatever. It's really really sad. Onto the complaining portion of this entry. I loved them with every fiber of my being and they left me, they left me and their cleanly ways left me. I am kind of messy, it's true, BUT my mess extends to my bedroom, and it's mostly because I'm lazy and never put my laundry away. But one certain new roommate of mine (all of my roommates names start with K so we will just call her Bo Peep) has a mess that extends far beyond the realm of her own galaxy and waaaay up into all a everybody else's galaxy. I walked downstairs this morning and I could swear that last night she had a bar fight in our living room that escalated into the kitchen and involved a lot of butter. It was a mess. I feel like a mother cleaning up after an overgrown two year old. I'm sure Bo Peep is a wonderful person, she seems really fun, but you can be wonderful and fun AND clean. I'm not sure how she manages to dirty so many dishes in one day, she is one person, but our sink is never empty for more than what seems like five minutes. And it's never two or three dishes it's like she served up a seven course meal to the confederate army! It's crazy! Oh, if only H & A from freshman year had her as a roommate they would have LOVED us. She really is a fun loving, awesome, energetic person and I'm sure, given the chance, we would be great friends. It's just very exhausting to be the only person in the apartment who seems bothered by this problem. Am I wrong to not want to gag when I walk into my kitchen?

A Beautiful Weekend

I still don't have any pictures from San Diego, sorry guys I'm working on it. I was informed yesterday that I need to update my blog more often. Here is a newsflash for you (I won't mention your name): You lived with me, my life is boring! What would you like me to update about, the weather, how I still haven't put my laundry away, or maybe how I suck at keeping my promises to go running -we will pretend you didn't hear that one. I have nothing of substance to tell the world about. It's a sad truth. I need a life. It was very beautiful this Memorial Day weekend though, not that you can tell now because it's very wet and cold outside. My "family" and I had tons of fun playing with the nephews and my solo niece, barbecuing, and swimming (although to be honest it was kind of cold for that). It was a wonderful time and I'm very lucky to have been able to go home. I finished a book! Yay for not wasting all of my time on the internet and I am currently trying to read Eragon. I have also been informed that I must read Ender's Game by the end of October as I will be seeing that movie since it is a favorite of one of my favorite people. Has anyone read that? I don't even know what it is about. Lots of reading! I forgot how much I love to read, as I haven't had the chance to sit down and enjoy a book in what seems like forever. I changed my school schedule, and what seems like my entire life, today. As of right now I have two classes in Logan and all the rest in Brigham City. I was lucky in that they changed the schedule around just enough that I only have to drive to Brigham twice a week next semester instead of three times which will be a lot nicer. It's an interesting change and we will see how I handle it, right now it feels like a heavy weight on my back and there isn't anything I can do so I don't know why I worry. Well, for your viewing pleasure I have included the picture from when I went wakeboarding right after my trip to San Diego. It isn't much but it's kinda cool, I think.

The water was kind of rocky but it was still way cool to get out there. I can't wait to do lots more of it this summer!

"...all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good."

I had a plan. That plan has been ripped up, puked on, and set on fire. These things tend to happen to me. I make a plan, I think the plan is great, then God comes along with His plan and turns out it's different than mine. His plan is always harder, always tearful, and always better. I'm trying to remember this as I pick myself up this week and rearrange what is left of my academic career. I found out yesterday that I will not be continuing in the social work program here in Logan. There are a few options as to what I can do, and after careful consideration and prayer I have decided to use Brigham City as my social work base. Brigham city means a commute, as all my social work classes and practicum will be 30-45 minutes away, but it also means not having to wait until next year to re-apply for the program. It is not going to be an easy path and it was a hard decision to make. I have yet to know why this is the way I need to go but I have trust in that it is the best thing for me. And though I will, probably, still be crying over this two weeks from now, and again in the Fall when it becomes a reality, I will be okay and I can do this.

When I Have Grown a Foot or Two

Over the past few months a quote I discovered by Jeffrey R. Holland has reverberated in my mind:

"With any major decision there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts."

In October of last year the prophet made an incredible and historical announcement that the church (the LDS church) was changing the missionary age for men from 19 to 18 and for women from 21 to 19. As a 19 year old young women, at the time, this change was incredibly significant to my life and to the lives around me. For the last 6 months I have listened and watched as this change has affected thousands across the world including those close to me. For men, it was a difference, but for women it was a life changing event. It is every worthy young man's responsibility, in the church, to serve an LDS mission. But for women it isn't a responsibility; it is a choice. A very very hard choice. And more now than ever before there is an immense social pressure to serve for young women. I have watched as each of my friends puts their papers in and receives that amazing blessing to serve the Lord for 18 months. With the exception of a few, it feels as though every girl I know has decided to serve. It is incredible! We need missionary work and we need sister missionaries. However, not every young women is meant to serve a mission. I have wanted to serve a mission since I was a very young girl, that desire increased as my family fell away from the church, and even more so as I expanded my horizons and saw the sadness of those who didn't have the gospel in their lives. There is a scripture in D&C 4:3 that says "if ye have desires to serve God ye are called to the work;" you would think that would be my answer. But it wasn't. The answer to my prayers was not to go on a mission. I have yet to know why I won't be putting on a nametag and travelling away from home to serve anytime soon. But I do know that God has a plan for me and He knows exactly where I am needed and I trust Him even if the answers are not what I expect. I have often wondered, and prayed, about whether the answer I received was real or just my own fears or selfish desires coming out. The decision to not serve has become significantly harder the more I see my friends leave. But I received an answer, a real answer, and I know that my call, though different than that of a full time mission, is just as important to my Heavenly Father.

Whales, Sea Lions, and Walruses! OH MY!

This past week I have been on the most amazing vacation of my entire existence. SAN DIEGO! I know my existence has been pretty dull up to now, but that is not the point. After 12 hours of driving last week we made it to the amazing, warm, and beautiful city of San Diego, California. Words cannot describe how stoked I was for this vacation. 1. It was right after finals week, 2. It was my first time in California. Plus, who doesn't want to see a sea lion? Even though I did not come back any tanner I still consider the trip an immense success. So, some highlights? We went to Sea World, of course, and saw Shamu and some sea lions, polar bears, penguins, a walrus (which are basically large blobs of fat and have disproportionately small heads), and an otter! I want an otter now. I think I kind of also want a walrus but mostly because that much fat on one creature is disgustingly cool. I pet a stingray, that was pretty sweet. We went to the ocean which was incredibly cool, in the figurative and literal sense, it was freezing and I did not get in. I biked 24 miles-the most terrible 24 miles of my life. Apparently the word leisure means death defying acts of horrible exercise in my "family". I'm pretty sure I shaved a few years off my life expectancy. We found this cute little ice cream shop called the Baked Bear. They make custom made ice cream sandwiches that are amazing! Come on, I had to make up for those calories I lost riding 24 miles somehow, right? And to top it all off we drove the 12 hours to get home slept the rest of the night and then my "dad" and I went wakeboarding the next day. Wakeboarding, in Utah, in May...sane people don't attempt things like that. Good thing we aren't sane! It was the cherry on top of the most perfect vacation. I'm super grateful for a "family" that can show me such a great time, and even more grateful to have their love and support.

**Pictures to come (hopefully)

Crazy Cleaning Nazis

Today was move out/in/stay put if your name is Felicia day. I don't like these days. I spent hours upon hours cleaning out every inch of my apartment playing cleaning lady for two days. Really. Our apartment was cleaner than the Taj Mahal, assuming the Taj Mahal is the cleanest thing you have ever seen this side of the planet. Is the Taj Mahal on this side of the planet? Maybe I shouldn't use the Taj Mahal in my analogies. It was really really clean! You could have eaten spaghetti off the floor, but then you would have made my floors dirty and it would have, consequently, been your last meal. This lady comes in to check us off and make sure everything is spic and span. Well, what should have been a pass with flying colors was a criticism and a plea for death. When she said "You still need to..." all I heard was "I am evil, you shall never pass, kill me!" To which I very gladly wanted to, but I'm a very nice person so I smiled and then proceeded to kill two trees and create thousands of homeless squirrels  with the amount of paper towels I used cleaning. If this apartment was any cleaner it would disappear completely. Now there are weird people moving in that I don't know and that aren't as cool as my previous roommates and it's weird and I don't like it and did I mention that it's weird?

A Day I Thought Would Never Come

Finals Week!! I turned in my last paper on Saturday night and I have never felt more relieved in my entire life. This semester was tough. It was tough to stay on task and do what needed to get done. It doesn't help that my apartment decided to actually be social this semester and we finally have friends. Which is so totally awesome and made school so much more fun but it was also extremely distracting. The end is bittersweet as we will all be moving on with our lives but the break is much needed. I will be off to Cali in just a week and a half. So excited! And everyone else is moving away. :( Ka is staying here with me for the summer but I'm not sure that one or both of us won't kill each other by August. We'll be fine, what's a little murder among friends? Well. for your viewing pleasures I have included photographic evidence of our wonderful trip to the park this week.There is nothing better to defuse the tension of finals week than pretending to be a five year old at the park. :D

Me, E, and A just chilling bein' adorable and stuffs.

K and A playing on the wobblers.

I am too tall for the monkey bars! Surprisingly (not) A wasn't! Haha, the benefit of being short.

A and E climbing the rock wall.

Facebook is Checking Up on Me-Again

Has anyone else realized Facebook has suddenly gotten very maternal? It always wants to know where you are, who you are with, what you are doing, and now it wants to know how you are feeling too. It feels odd to me that a website would care so much about me and at the same time be so unfeeling. I mean you don't hear Facebook ever telling you that it loves you so why should you tell it about your life. It's completely insane. Facebook is full of teenagers who are trying to escape their parents and little do they know that they are telling their whole life to their cyber mommy. But really, if Facebook cared so much it would start sending me food. Where is my food Facebook?!?!

Feeling Oddly Motivated

If you know me you know that there are very few things I hate on this planet more than onions, because they are evil. One of those very few things is exercise. There I said it. I hate to exercise. I know it's good for me! Stop looking at me like I'm that terrible person who just ran over your favorite cuddly kitty cat and then hid it in the garbage can with a bottle of febreze so I wouldn't get caught. It's not that bad! I'm not fat, well not super fat...I'm getting there. I just don't like to exercise, I'm lazy and I like to sit and watch television and eat delicious food, or even meh-at-least-it's-food food. Exercise is a swear word in the language of Felicia. We don't talk about it, we don't think about, we don't do it, and we pretend it doesn't exist. Exercise? What is that? A greek delicacy served with cheese? Mmmm...sounds delicious. But as of late, and by late I mean mostly just today, I have felt oddly motivated to start running. I don't know why. Maybe, the world is ending? Who knows? Not me. So, I am making a second mid-new years resolution: I am going to become a runner AND I am going to learn to like it. Take deep breaths it will all be okay; we will survive this together. And stop laughing, I'm really gonna do this, really. I know you don't believe me but I will do this. I can make myself do anything I want. Besides I've come up with the perfect way to find running enjoyable. You see, the only time I've ever liked running is when I'm really really angry-it's a good, healthy, release of anger. Sooo...I will just think of my Bio-family whenever I get discouraged and don't think I can keep going. They always seem to make me some sort of angry and therefore I will find my motivation through my anger towards my family, mostly my mom and her boyfriend. It's a great plan you guys. I got this. You just wait and see. Really, I'm gonna do it.

The End of A Lot of Things

The semester is coming to a close. Can I get a hallelujah? HALLELUJAH! The last few weeks I have been the least motivated I have ever been in my entire life. It's really bad because the last few weeks have been the busiest academically that I have ever had in my life. It's a miracle that I got anything done let alone all of it. I was so stressed I turned in one of my papers a week late and wrote this huge long apology note only to be told that it really wasn't due until NEXT week. That was embarrassing. The end of this semester is bittersweet. It means the end of school and school work. Which is wonderful. But it's also the end of living with my incredible roommates. A is going on an LDS mission and will be gone for the next year and a half. I am so so proud of her but I will definitely miss her. K is moving in with a different friend next year. I will definitely miss her. Things are going to get crazy in the next year. I know I'm ready for all the changes that are going to happen but at the same time I'm not sure I want to be ready for all the craziness yet.
On a different note I am making a mid new years resolution. I am going to get asked out before November. I am going to. I have not been on a date in over a year and I am sick of it. There are too many attractive men on the planet to not take advantage of the opportunity to go out with at least a few of them. And darn it I am a cute girl. I mean I'm not drop dead gorgeous adorable but I'm alright. Right? Sigh. I just want a date. :( And I'm sick of crying about this but sometimes I just have to cry about because it hurts to not well ya know. It just doesn't feel good. So, mid new years resolution: I am going to get asked out. I am. I can do this. I will. Yea.
Well, Happy Birthday to me. It is the end of my reign as a teenager. I will never be a teenager again. I don't feel old enough to be twenty but lo and behold I must be because that is the age that I am turning. I am not sure that I am pleased about being old but that's okay. I don't have a choice. It was a great birthday though. Despite how I am feeling right now, which isn't awesome, it was a good birthday. And now I'm going to go to bed so that I don't continue blabbering about embarrassing crum diddly lump krud.

Tis' the Season to be Pregnant, Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

So, I don't remember if I told you this or not, but my "sister" and my "sister-in-law" are both pregnant! And both due in November! And both adorable, and incredibly strong, and pretty darn sick bless their hearts. Sometimes after having visited M I wonder if I really want to have children but they must be worth it because she continues to have more. And knowing and loving my nephews and niece they seem totally worth it. I am so excited for them both and can't wait to meet my cute new nieces/nephews! My aunt is also pregnant. My friend, and roommate's cousin, just had a baby (a 30 hour labor might I add, bless her heart and bless it good!). A woman I work with is pregnant. Lately it just seems like I have seen a lot of pregnant women. Was there a holiday I wasn't aware of? National let's all have a baby together day? It just seems a little weird that's all. Way to keep the great commandment of child bearing...please continue replenishing the earth (then call me to babysit so I can enjoy the fruits of your labor, ha labor [it's punny]).

I Have Buried the Body. Now what, Master?

The following is a conversation I had via text message with a friend who did not have my number and therefore did not know who I was. You know you chose a good friend when they can tell you how to bury a body without question. It's a bit long but it's totally worth reading.

Me: I have buried the body. Now what, Master?

D: Well done servant, next plant a tree over the body so no one will know it was there.

Me: An apple tree or an orange tree?

D: Google said that apple trees are better for covering up bodies, apparently it sucks more nutrients from the ground so the body will decompose faster.

Me: We have a problem Master. I lost the body. Apparently it wasn't as dead as I thought.

D: You have failed me. Execute order 3167a!

Me: Kidnapping the chipmunk? I thought we agreed he was useless?

D: Chipmunks have a great sense of smell, and their large fangs make them ferocious warriors. If you could gently convince him to track down the not so dead body that would be great. Thanks!

Me: He ate my hand! Your rabid beast of a chipmunk ate my hand!

D: You were supposed to look it in the eye and bow and then wait for it to bow back first! Didn't you pay attention in care of magical creatures?

Me: I thought that was for hippogriffs...

D: Hippogriffs and chipmunks share a common ancestor. Duh!

Me: Well the deed is done. The chipmunk has turned against me and will not complete the task assigned him.

D: Well, I guess rabbits will do.

Me: How is a rabbit supposed to help me catch a not dead dead person?!?!

D: Don't question my genius!

Me: Master? It didn't say anything about pretending you were a genius in the job description. You're gonna have to pay me more for that one.

D: And I didn't hire you so you could wallow in self denial about my epicness! I invoke paragraph 3 of item 209a of the contract, demanding you to self terminate.

Me: According to paragraph 456.9 line 2 of page 12 I have the right to deny self termination and hit you over the head with a log. I'm sending my associates over now.

D: I don't think you can have 9/10s of a paragraph. In any case it seems like you're over reacting so I'm going to have to put you in time out for the moment.

Me: You can't do that! I have rights!

A Sad Story of One Girl's Castle and a Very Mean Dragon

Once upon a time in a kingdom far far away in a land called upstairs a girl was peacefully attempting to lie down in her "castle" and fall into a deep slumber from which she would hope to not be woken for hours. Unfortunately lurking nearby in a land called hallway was a dragon who had other plans for the sleepy girl. As the girl lay down the dragon decided she was going to lay down too. On top of the girl. In the "castle." As you might guess the girl was very displeased with the dragon and proceeded to toss, turn, kick, and scream at the dragon. But the dragon was relentless at her attempts to overthrow the girls rule over her "castle." Soon the girl resigned to a world without her "castle", known as downstairs. But downstairs was full of strange creatures called daters who had filled their land with dating and date like stuff and awkward door scenes that weren't actually at the door but were kind of, and long good byes, and odd looks at the girl. Luckily as she wept with sorrow for the loss of her kingdom, and her deep slumber, the dragon retreated and became bored with the "castle", leaving it be. The girl rejoiced and ran back to her kingdom filled with sleepy joy. And very soon the night was over. And she awoke. Still angry about the attempted overthrow, and somehow just as sleepy. The End.

This story may or may not be a realistic re-telling of my Saturday night with my roommates.
**Names, and in some cases, species have been changed to protect the identity of the characters in this story.

I Met an Attractive Man and Now My Life Sucks

Believe it or not I have never ever cuddled with a man I didn't in some way have feelings for. Until yesterday. Which I did not feel bad about. And wish I still didn't feel bad about. I met him hanging out at a friend's house, so no he wasn't a complete and total stranger, just a stranger, and an attractive one. Well, one thing led to another and his arm was around my shoulders and my head was on his shoulder and we were sitting incredibly comfy close to each other. He told me I was beautiful and at that point all of my common sense flew out the window landed on a tall tree was stolen by a sparrow who left it on an eagle's nest who then fed it to her babies. In my defense the last time a guy told me I was beautiful was FOREVER ago. At least a year, probably longer. It felt really good to feel pretty. This guy, we'll call him D, was kind of a ladies man, and I knew that but it was still nice. But here's the problem. You know when you really really like someone and every little touch, hand hold, brush of hair, smile, even just their presence gives you butterflies? Ya well I never got those butterflies. The BEST part of cuddling with someone is the feeling you have for that person. And this is why my life sucks now. The entire time I was cuddling with D, I was thinking about N. Which 1) made me feel terrible and 2)made me miss him, which made me feel terrible too. It was a long night. It didn't help that I spent the weekend with two pregnant women. I think their hormones rubbed off on me haha! My poor roommate had to listen to me cry and complain the whole way back to school. I'm grateful she's such a good friend. And now I will proceed to watch sad movies, cry lots, and pretend I'm okay. Good night.

The Chicken Poop Talk

Have you ever wondered what on earth the first person to eat an egg was thinking? Well I have. I mean they must have looked at the chicken and thought "hey, ya know, I think I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of that." Why? Why would you ever think that? It just doesn't seem like a good idea. Now, don't get me wrong I like eggs. They aren't my favorite but I like them. And I like cooking with them. Anywho, I was telling my mom about my thoughts on eggs, and this is the conversation that followed.

Mom: It's not chicken poop, Felicia. You have your chicken anatomy wrong. It's an egg.

Me: Great, so now I have to think about how I'm eating a dead chicken baby everytime I eat an egg. I'm eating a dead baby mom!

Mom: Felicia, it's not a dead baby. Every female has eggs and when the egg drops it has to be fertilized before...

Me: NOOOO! No! Just stop, please. Now not only do I not love eggs but I'm never going to be able to look at one ever again. Gross, mom, gross.

Mom: It's just life. It's a beautif...

Me: AHHHHHH!!!! No. We're done.

That is the woman I grew up with ladies and gentleman. And the woman who has now successfully destroyed eggs for me.

It's a Sensitive Issue

Today the Supreme Court discussed the gay marriage ban also known as Proposition 8. Tomorrow they will discuss the Defense of Marriage Act. The media is going nuts about whether or not marriage is a right that should be given to the LGBT community. And the Human Rights Campaign is making sure it is advertised all over social media. This issue is very sensitive to me for two reasons 1. I am a social worker. Fighting for what is right is what I do. And if I believe something is right I will fight for it. 2. I know people who are very dear to me that are gay. With that being said I felt it was very important that I express my opinion in a safe place where no one will get offended. I believe marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God. And that the love we can experience with another person is a beautiful gift given to us by our creator. Families are ordained of God. There is no replacement for a mother and there is no replacement for a father. And while I may disagree with someone's opinion or the choices they make, I love everyone. And I believe that it is more important for people to know how much you love them than it is for them to know that you disagree with them. We are daughters and sons of our Heavenly Father who loves us regardless of the choices we make. It makes me sad to think there are those who doubt that love or even don't know of it. So, I choose to be more like my Heavenly Father, I choose to love.

A Little Thing Called Love

The season for winter is over and the season of spring is beginning. Thank goodness I've only waited since like November! I really just can't wait for it to be summer though. And this is the story of how summer and I fell in love. You thought this was going to be about a guy? Ha! I love summer so much. I love the warm feel of the sun on my face and I love that being outside is no longer miserable. I don't get hot, or I rarely get hot. And it's beautiful, ya know? The lakes to see, the mountains to climb, the sun to enjoy. There isn't really a single bad thing about summer. Okay, maybe the bugs. I don't like bugs. Everything else is grand and I'm really excited to get to enjoy it. Besides, this is the last summer I will have to spend single...hopefully. But I mean really it probably is. And I'm going to Sea World this summer! I've never been to California so I'm very excited. And I'm going to get to do lots of swimming and lots of wake-boarding and lots of boating. I can't believe I'm saying this, me of all people, but I've missed the water! I can't wait to get back out there. I plan to do a lot with my time this summer. And I can't wait to enjoy the world God gave us!

Snow Blizzards & Pat Downs Ooo-La-La

I made my annual trip to Colorado last week. For some reason I had this intense urge to just put Mecca instead of Colorado. My Bad! Ha! Well, it was definitely not good. Sometimes I think I cause more problems than it's worth for me to be there. My biological family lives there ( in case you were like what the livestock is she talking about ). My flight landed in Denver at around 12:30 but of course my mom and her boyfriend had to be late. Which I actually was really ticked about because I really thought they were just being more inconsiderate than usual, and telling me bluffs about how bad the snow storm was. I wish they were bluffing! Denver was in like this giant anti-snow bubble because, I swear, it was the only city that wasn't experiencing massive amounts of frozen icicle crap raining from the sky. A mile outside of Denver the weather was a monstrosity. Colorado has these super weird winds where all the snow currently on the ground tends to drift to one side causing what they call snow drifts, I call them Mountains of Un-foretold Torture. Considering the story I'm about to tell my title fits better. So, we have been driving for what seems like forever, just me, my mom, and her boyfriend. Have I mentioned I'm not a huge fan of said boyfriend, because I'm not. And when I say forever I'm not too far off, we left the airport at around 1:30 it was then 6 o'clock. Usually, it takes about an hour and a half to get to my mom's from Denver. Well it's about six when suddenly (for the third time that night) the car starts to slide off the road a little. Totally not a big deal we are in a Tahoe we can recover from a little road sliding. Well we straighten ourselves out only to come crashing into one of those Mountains of Un-foretold Torture. It was sitting in the middle of the flippin' road! For real?!?!? Not cool. Well my mom's boyfriend gets out to push the car and the car decides it's not moving. So, they call a neighbor who has a 4x4 to come pull us out. So the neighbor and my brother head out on their way. They don't get there until after midnight. I've now been in a car with the only person on the planet I could come close to hating for almost 12 hours now! Surprisingly nothing terrible has happened and I haven't gone off at his pervasive jokes or stabs at my beliefs by now. I really am more amazing than I thought. Well, the neighbor can't get the car out either and at about two they decide my mom and I should go back down to the gas station we passed about 10 miles back. Thank heavens! I think I had been holding my bladder for about four hours. It took us until three to get to the gas station where we had a lovely gourmet dinner of microwave burritos and chips.But at least they had a bathroom! Oh and I did meet a lovely boy who played the guitar, he was stuck too. By five we were still at the gas station when my mom's boyfriend finally gave up getting the car out and we got a motel room for the night, not that there was any night left. It was a miserable night but by 10 the next morning the weather had settled down and it looked as if nothing wrong had ever happened. Lies! The car was frozen and couldn't move into gear so I was stuck in that little po-dunk town in the middle of nowhere the whole weekend. Well that ended badly in lots of argument and word vomit but that's a story for a completely different day. On a more pleasant, funnier note, I will never wear a buttoned shirt to the airport again. Apparently the buttons mess up the body scan which then allows you the incredible privilege of being patted down by airport security. Most awkward moment of my life, to date. At least it was a woman?

The Any-Life-Decision-is-a-Decision-to-Die Theory

Friday I submitted my application into the social work program. I was so incredibly nervous about submitting it and I'm terrified of not getting in. BUT there is nothing more I can do now. It's making me sick with worry though. Literally. I have this theory about myself; I make myself sick. Whenever I make a major life decision I always end up violently ill later that week. First example, moving in with my "sister", M. Two days later: violently ill and throwing up. She was a blessing and took care of me. Second example, moving to college. Two days later: violently ill and throwing up. And now for the point of me telling you this and the third example, turning in my social work application. Two days later: violently ill and throwing up. See? So not only do I get to be nervous about getting accepted or not, I COULD HAVE DIED! Okay, I admit that is a little dramatic, but it was dreadful and I wished multiple times that night that I was dead instead of going through that writhing pain. I don't know why it happens it just always does. Kaitlin made fun of me and said it's going to be great when I spend my wedding night lying next to the toilet instead of my husband. DEATH. If that happens, I swear, I will kill someone. Maybe I just need to learn to relax? Maybe, just maybe, my getting ill on these days was just random? Probably not. Why? Why do I do these things to myself? Even unconsciously I give myself a hard time. Sigh. I will never learn.

It's Just Been One of Those Days

On occasion I find myself in a mood, that for me, is terrible. It's nothing compared to a lot of people's "grumpy" moods and generally I don't act tons different around other people, but usually you can tell something is off. Today is one of those days. It's a feeling of sadness. I feel left out, even though I don't want to be around anyone, I feel like crying, for no real reason (not that I don't have many reasons to cry), I feel down, in the pits, sad, lonely, depressed, upset, angry, irritable, like killing a large snake just to prove that I can do it. All the normal stuff. These days are not good. They make me question my sanity, more than a normal day. And they make me extremely lazy, because lying in bed doing nothing is waaaaaay better than going and killing a large snake just to prove I can (at least by some people's standards). I don't know why I get this way, maybe it's because I don't get angry. I hate being angry, but I used to get angry all the time. I was thinking about it the other day and I don't think I have yelled at someone with true anger in almost four years. And while being angry makes me feel crappy, I can remember it, and almost always brought me to the point of tears, I think my emotions are a little out of wack because of it. I haven't been as happy and at peace in my life like I am today (well, not exactly TODAY) in my entire life. I can't remember a time, from my past, where I wasn't afraid of the next argument or if someone was angry at me that day and how I was going to stick up for myself, and now I feel this amazing future ahead of me where I will NEVER have to feel that way again. It's great. But sometimes I feel a little lost because I've come so far. Where did the me from that time go? I didn't take her with me. I shed her and became something completely different, is it wrong for me to miss her a little? Because with her went an entire past that I will never experience again. And as crappy as that past might be there were pieces of it that were great, and I lived for those pieces. Now they are gone. That deserves a little sadness, right? So, on days like these I wonder if that is what my heart is telling me; "Felicia, today we mourn the past. The anger, the resentment, the loss, the sadness, the moments of happiness, the people; today, we mourn all of that."

Failure. And One Extremely Stressful Week.

I give up. There is no way I'm going to post thirteen days of this challenge. I don't even think I had thirteen days left. Nope, it was like seven. Still not doing it. If there is something you are dying to know about me then feel free to ask til then I'm keeping with what I got.
I have had the most stressful week last week. My best friend got married (congratulations) and my other best friend/roommate's dad passed away. Talk about one giant emotional roller coaster the only thing that could have made that week busier was if I had two papers due the same week. Oh, wait, I did! I couldn't wait for the weekend and then it was gone lickety split. The good news is despite January being the longest friggin month ever! February has decided to be quite short, in fact there are only eight days left of it. This makes me extremely happy as March is just one step closer to Spring! And it should go by pretty fast since it's the month of spring break, and even though I'm not super excited about going to Colorado (despite my knowing it is the right thing to do) I am really excited for spring break. Because it's one step closer to school being out and I really need that.
I'm applying for the social work program this week. Wish me luck! I'm gonna need it. If I don't get into the program then I have to wait a year to reapply and while I'm waiting I will be completely lost. All of my generals are done so I don't know what I will do if they make me wait a year to apply again. I really really really need to get in!!! Ugh. I'm sure it will all work out in the end. Crossing my fingers. :-/
Anywho, that was my exciting month. Stay tuned for more wild adventures yet to come. :-P

Days 22 & 23

Day Twenty-Two: A Letter to Someone Who Has Recently Hurt You
Well, I would love to tell you this huge sob story about my life and the pain some people have caused in it, but I have turned a new page and forgiven all those errs. So, in an effort not to dwell on the past or to cause myself an emotional breakdown, I'm gonna leave this one blank. I hope you can all forgive me. ;)

Day Twenty-Three: Fifteen Facts About You
Hmmm...alrighty.
1. I didn't learn to swim until I was almost seventeen, and because of that I had aquaphobia almost my whole life. Aquaphobia is the fear of drowning, which I conquered last summer!
2. I have never seen Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Batman (any of them), the Bourne movies, or any James Bond movies ever. Which apparently is pretty shocking to people? I also didn't see Lord of the Rings until my freshman year of college.
3. I am a hopeless romantic despite my sarcasm towards romance, inside I'm really just like any other girl.
4. I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I know who I am, I am a daughter of Heavenly Father. I am a Mormon. I know it. I live it. I love it.
5. I think onions are the most disgusting food ever discovered. And lemons are the bounty of the earth.
6. I was born in Pennsylvania, which most people don't know about me because I didn't grow up there.
7. At age 9 I had the reading level of a college Freshman and by the time I was in Junior High I had the reading level of a Grad student. Despite this I continued to read books that everyone told me were "beneath me."
8. If I could (and not feel bad about myself) I would spend all day laying in bed. And I am a frequent napper.
9. I used to really love to read but during the school semester I can't because it distracts me too much from doing homework.
10. My major is social work and I hope to become a child welfare advocate for DCFS. My mom hates that that's my career choice, and actually once threatened to disown me. I think she's seen the light since then, though I'm sure she is still displeased with my decision.
11. I have owned practically every kind of pet, with the exception of anything that's scaly or slimy. Dogs, cats, hamsters, guinea pigs, rabbits, birds, etc. You name it and we probably had it in my house at one point.
12. I am huge people pleaser and will do most anything for most everyone if they ask, which can be bad and good. Sometimes my room mates like to take advantage of that. ;)
13. I've had a job since I was ten years old. Which is half my life. In one way it's a little sad, but I haven't known anything different. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if I wasn't working.
14. School is not my forte, most people think I'm super smart and that I'm really good at school but I'm not. I'm just average. Don't get me wrong I love school and I recognize it's importance. I'm just not as great at that stuff as people seem to think I am.
15. I love my family and I love my friends like family. Though they've brought me hard times, they've also brought me good. And I wish things were a bit different between some of my relationships but that's the way life is and I wouldn't trade any of them for anything in the world.