I Met an Attractive Man and Now My Life Sucks

Believe it or not I have never ever cuddled with a man I didn't in some way have feelings for. Until yesterday. Which I did not feel bad about. And wish I still didn't feel bad about. I met him hanging out at a friend's house, so no he wasn't a complete and total stranger, just a stranger, and an attractive one. Well, one thing led to another and his arm was around my shoulders and my head was on his shoulder and we were sitting incredibly comfy close to each other. He told me I was beautiful and at that point all of my common sense flew out the window landed on a tall tree was stolen by a sparrow who left it on an eagle's nest who then fed it to her babies. In my defense the last time a guy told me I was beautiful was FOREVER ago. At least a year, probably longer. It felt really good to feel pretty. This guy, we'll call him D, was kind of a ladies man, and I knew that but it was still nice. But here's the problem. You know when you really really like someone and every little touch, hand hold, brush of hair, smile, even just their presence gives you butterflies? Ya well I never got those butterflies. The BEST part of cuddling with someone is the feeling you have for that person. And this is why my life sucks now. The entire time I was cuddling with D, I was thinking about N. Which 1) made me feel terrible and 2)made me miss him, which made me feel terrible too. It was a long night. It didn't help that I spent the weekend with two pregnant women. I think their hormones rubbed off on me haha! My poor roommate had to listen to me cry and complain the whole way back to school. I'm grateful she's such a good friend. And now I will proceed to watch sad movies, cry lots, and pretend I'm okay. Good night.