Is There Even a Way to Title This?

I work at a call center, most of you (the two people who read this) know that. It's a lovely job consisting of mostly getting yelled at, occasionally having someone cry into the phone at you, some swearing, and some very incredibly awkward personal confessions from people you don't know and have never met. It's awesome! Even better is our company's recent decision to conduct surveys that clearly invade the huge personal space bubble that exists in ones mind. You know, those things that exist but you don't want to talk about? Well, I might call you and ask you to talk about them! Example One: We have a new survey for Stanford University called "Couples". Basically we call and ask questions about your relationship. My favorite questions: How attractive would you rate yourself? How attractive would you rate your partner? Yea, because people are going to tell you the truth when their gf/bf/spouse/intimate lover/dog/whatever floats your boat is sitting next to them. Yea... Example Two: This one is my favorite! It's a survey called TP Study. If you are thinking "no, tp stands for something else." You are wrong, it stands for toilet paper. We call and ask people when the last time they used the restroom was and how they would rate the flushability of their toilet paper. But that isn't the best or worst part! They have been asked to record the flushability of their toilet paper. Like video record. I guess somebody has to do it, right? I'm just glad I'm not the person who has to watch all of those videos....