A Day I Thought Would Never Come

Finals Week!! I turned in my last paper on Saturday night and I have never felt more relieved in my entire life. This semester was tough. It was tough to stay on task and do what needed to get done. It doesn't help that my apartment decided to actually be social this semester and we finally have friends. Which is so totally awesome and made school so much more fun but it was also extremely distracting. The end is bittersweet as we will all be moving on with our lives but the break is much needed. I will be off to Cali in just a week and a half. So excited! And everyone else is moving away. :( Ka is staying here with me for the summer but I'm not sure that one or both of us won't kill each other by August. We'll be fine, what's a little murder among friends? Well. for your viewing pleasures I have included photographic evidence of our wonderful trip to the park this week.There is nothing better to defuse the tension of finals week than pretending to be a five year old at the park. :D

Me, E, and A just chilling bein' adorable and stuffs.

K and A playing on the wobblers.

I am too tall for the monkey bars! Surprisingly (not) A wasn't! Haha, the benefit of being short.

A and E climbing the rock wall.

Facebook is Checking Up on Me-Again

Has anyone else realized Facebook has suddenly gotten very maternal? It always wants to know where you are, who you are with, what you are doing, and now it wants to know how you are feeling too. It feels odd to me that a website would care so much about me and at the same time be so unfeeling. I mean you don't hear Facebook ever telling you that it loves you so why should you tell it about your life. It's completely insane. Facebook is full of teenagers who are trying to escape their parents and little do they know that they are telling their whole life to their cyber mommy. But really, if Facebook cared so much it would start sending me food. Where is my food Facebook?!?!

Feeling Oddly Motivated

If you know me you know that there are very few things I hate on this planet more than onions, because they are evil. One of those very few things is exercise. There I said it. I hate to exercise. I know it's good for me! Stop looking at me like I'm that terrible person who just ran over your favorite cuddly kitty cat and then hid it in the garbage can with a bottle of febreze so I wouldn't get caught. It's not that bad! I'm not fat, well not super fat...I'm getting there. I just don't like to exercise, I'm lazy and I like to sit and watch television and eat delicious food, or even meh-at-least-it's-food food. Exercise is a swear word in the language of Felicia. We don't talk about it, we don't think about, we don't do it, and we pretend it doesn't exist. Exercise? What is that? A greek delicacy served with cheese? Mmmm...sounds delicious. But as of late, and by late I mean mostly just today, I have felt oddly motivated to start running. I don't know why. Maybe, the world is ending? Who knows? Not me. So, I am making a second mid-new years resolution: I am going to become a runner AND I am going to learn to like it. Take deep breaths it will all be okay; we will survive this together. And stop laughing, I'm really gonna do this, really. I know you don't believe me but I will do this. I can make myself do anything I want. Besides I've come up with the perfect way to find running enjoyable. You see, the only time I've ever liked running is when I'm really really angry-it's a good, healthy, release of anger. Sooo...I will just think of my Bio-family whenever I get discouraged and don't think I can keep going. They always seem to make me some sort of angry and therefore I will find my motivation through my anger towards my family, mostly my mom and her boyfriend. It's a great plan you guys. I got this. You just wait and see. Really, I'm gonna do it.

The End of A Lot of Things

The semester is coming to a close. Can I get a hallelujah? HALLELUJAH! The last few weeks I have been the least motivated I have ever been in my entire life. It's really bad because the last few weeks have been the busiest academically that I have ever had in my life. It's a miracle that I got anything done let alone all of it. I was so stressed I turned in one of my papers a week late and wrote this huge long apology note only to be told that it really wasn't due until NEXT week. That was embarrassing. The end of this semester is bittersweet. It means the end of school and school work. Which is wonderful. But it's also the end of living with my incredible roommates. A is going on an LDS mission and will be gone for the next year and a half. I am so so proud of her but I will definitely miss her. K is moving in with a different friend next year. I will definitely miss her. Things are going to get crazy in the next year. I know I'm ready for all the changes that are going to happen but at the same time I'm not sure I want to be ready for all the craziness yet.
On a different note I am making a mid new years resolution. I am going to get asked out before November. I am going to. I have not been on a date in over a year and I am sick of it. There are too many attractive men on the planet to not take advantage of the opportunity to go out with at least a few of them. And darn it I am a cute girl. I mean I'm not drop dead gorgeous adorable but I'm alright. Right? Sigh. I just want a date. :( And I'm sick of crying about this but sometimes I just have to cry about because it hurts to not well ya know. It just doesn't feel good. So, mid new years resolution: I am going to get asked out. I am. I can do this. I will. Yea.
Well, Happy Birthday to me. It is the end of my reign as a teenager. I will never be a teenager again. I don't feel old enough to be twenty but lo and behold I must be because that is the age that I am turning. I am not sure that I am pleased about being old but that's okay. I don't have a choice. It was a great birthday though. Despite how I am feeling right now, which isn't awesome, it was a good birthday. And now I'm going to go to bed so that I don't continue blabbering about embarrassing crum diddly lump krud.

Tis' the Season to be Pregnant, Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

So, I don't remember if I told you this or not, but my "sister" and my "sister-in-law" are both pregnant! And both due in November! And both adorable, and incredibly strong, and pretty darn sick bless their hearts. Sometimes after having visited M I wonder if I really want to have children but they must be worth it because she continues to have more. And knowing and loving my nephews and niece they seem totally worth it. I am so excited for them both and can't wait to meet my cute new nieces/nephews! My aunt is also pregnant. My friend, and roommate's cousin, just had a baby (a 30 hour labor might I add, bless her heart and bless it good!). A woman I work with is pregnant. Lately it just seems like I have seen a lot of pregnant women. Was there a holiday I wasn't aware of? National let's all have a baby together day? It just seems a little weird that's all. Way to keep the great commandment of child bearing...please continue replenishing the earth (then call me to babysit so I can enjoy the fruits of your labor, ha labor [it's punny]).

I Have Buried the Body. Now what, Master?

The following is a conversation I had via text message with a friend who did not have my number and therefore did not know who I was. You know you chose a good friend when they can tell you how to bury a body without question. It's a bit long but it's totally worth reading.

Me: I have buried the body. Now what, Master?

D: Well done servant, next plant a tree over the body so no one will know it was there.

Me: An apple tree or an orange tree?

D: Google said that apple trees are better for covering up bodies, apparently it sucks more nutrients from the ground so the body will decompose faster.

Me: We have a problem Master. I lost the body. Apparently it wasn't as dead as I thought.

D: You have failed me. Execute order 3167a!

Me: Kidnapping the chipmunk? I thought we agreed he was useless?

D: Chipmunks have a great sense of smell, and their large fangs make them ferocious warriors. If you could gently convince him to track down the not so dead body that would be great. Thanks!

Me: He ate my hand! Your rabid beast of a chipmunk ate my hand!

D: You were supposed to look it in the eye and bow and then wait for it to bow back first! Didn't you pay attention in care of magical creatures?

Me: I thought that was for hippogriffs...

D: Hippogriffs and chipmunks share a common ancestor. Duh!

Me: Well the deed is done. The chipmunk has turned against me and will not complete the task assigned him.

D: Well, I guess rabbits will do.

Me: How is a rabbit supposed to help me catch a not dead dead person?!?!

D: Don't question my genius!

Me: Master? It didn't say anything about pretending you were a genius in the job description. You're gonna have to pay me more for that one.

D: And I didn't hire you so you could wallow in self denial about my epicness! I invoke paragraph 3 of item 209a of the contract, demanding you to self terminate.

Me: According to paragraph 456.9 line 2 of page 12 I have the right to deny self termination and hit you over the head with a log. I'm sending my associates over now.

D: I don't think you can have 9/10s of a paragraph. In any case it seems like you're over reacting so I'm going to have to put you in time out for the moment.

Me: You can't do that! I have rights!

A Sad Story of One Girl's Castle and a Very Mean Dragon

Once upon a time in a kingdom far far away in a land called upstairs a girl was peacefully attempting to lie down in her "castle" and fall into a deep slumber from which she would hope to not be woken for hours. Unfortunately lurking nearby in a land called hallway was a dragon who had other plans for the sleepy girl. As the girl lay down the dragon decided she was going to lay down too. On top of the girl. In the "castle." As you might guess the girl was very displeased with the dragon and proceeded to toss, turn, kick, and scream at the dragon. But the dragon was relentless at her attempts to overthrow the girls rule over her "castle." Soon the girl resigned to a world without her "castle", known as downstairs. But downstairs was full of strange creatures called daters who had filled their land with dating and date like stuff and awkward door scenes that weren't actually at the door but were kind of, and long good byes, and odd looks at the girl. Luckily as she wept with sorrow for the loss of her kingdom, and her deep slumber, the dragon retreated and became bored with the "castle", leaving it be. The girl rejoiced and ran back to her kingdom filled with sleepy joy. And very soon the night was over. And she awoke. Still angry about the attempted overthrow, and somehow just as sleepy. The End.

This story may or may not be a realistic re-telling of my Saturday night with my roommates.
**Names, and in some cases, species have been changed to protect the identity of the characters in this story.

I Met an Attractive Man and Now My Life Sucks

Believe it or not I have never ever cuddled with a man I didn't in some way have feelings for. Until yesterday. Which I did not feel bad about. And wish I still didn't feel bad about. I met him hanging out at a friend's house, so no he wasn't a complete and total stranger, just a stranger, and an attractive one. Well, one thing led to another and his arm was around my shoulders and my head was on his shoulder and we were sitting incredibly comfy close to each other. He told me I was beautiful and at that point all of my common sense flew out the window landed on a tall tree was stolen by a sparrow who left it on an eagle's nest who then fed it to her babies. In my defense the last time a guy told me I was beautiful was FOREVER ago. At least a year, probably longer. It felt really good to feel pretty. This guy, we'll call him D, was kind of a ladies man, and I knew that but it was still nice. But here's the problem. You know when you really really like someone and every little touch, hand hold, brush of hair, smile, even just their presence gives you butterflies? Ya well I never got those butterflies. The BEST part of cuddling with someone is the feeling you have for that person. And this is why my life sucks now. The entire time I was cuddling with D, I was thinking about N. Which 1) made me feel terrible and 2)made me miss him, which made me feel terrible too. It was a long night. It didn't help that I spent the weekend with two pregnant women. I think their hormones rubbed off on me haha! My poor roommate had to listen to me cry and complain the whole way back to school. I'm grateful she's such a good friend. And now I will proceed to watch sad movies, cry lots, and pretend I'm okay. Good night.

The Chicken Poop Talk

Have you ever wondered what on earth the first person to eat an egg was thinking? Well I have. I mean they must have looked at the chicken and thought "hey, ya know, I think I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of that." Why? Why would you ever think that? It just doesn't seem like a good idea. Now, don't get me wrong I like eggs. They aren't my favorite but I like them. And I like cooking with them. Anywho, I was telling my mom about my thoughts on eggs, and this is the conversation that followed.

Mom: It's not chicken poop, Felicia. You have your chicken anatomy wrong. It's an egg.

Me: Great, so now I have to think about how I'm eating a dead chicken baby everytime I eat an egg. I'm eating a dead baby mom!

Mom: Felicia, it's not a dead baby. Every female has eggs and when the egg drops it has to be fertilized before...

Me: NOOOO! No! Just stop, please. Now not only do I not love eggs but I'm never going to be able to look at one ever again. Gross, mom, gross.

Mom: It's just life. It's a beautif...

Me: AHHHHHH!!!! No. We're done.

That is the woman I grew up with ladies and gentleman. And the woman who has now successfully destroyed eggs for me.