Out with the Old?

I love my roommates. I love my "adopted" family. And I love my life. I am so blessed to have been born to such a wonderful and glorious dispensation. And I am so blessed to have a Heavenly Father who loves me and takes care of me everyday whether I know it or not. I know that every decision that I have made in His guidance has led me to where I am. That without the help that He has sent me I wouldn't be where I am. I wouldn't be who I am. I know that growing up and moving on is apart of life. That things change and some of those things will never be the same again. But just because I understand this, and just because I know that it is the way it is supposed to be, just because I am a better person today than I was yesterday, doesn't make it easy. Sometimes, I think, it makes it harder. I miss old friends. I miss my family. Sometimes, I even miss my life. I know none of those things will ever be the same for me ever again, and that hurts. Occasionally, I feel like I had this whole other identity that I left behind when I moved in with my "sister." I became something else. I was given a fork in the road and told to pick a direction. Though, I know who I am is better than who I was, I still sometimes miss that know-it-all, snarky, stubborn, wise-crack who never backed down to anyone. I am different. Every once in a while I feel like I'm not even really me. I have this whole life, this whole persona, that my biological family will never understand, will never know. Part of me hurts that I will never have the opportunity to be close to them again. The other  part hurts because they don't care enough to want to be that close. I know that I am who I am for a reason. I chose the road that I chose for a reason. Heavenly Father has a plan for me. He knows me. He loves me. And He will always lead me right. I do trust Him. Sometimes it is just harder than others.