Goblins Got Nothing on the Candy Craze

Halloween has become a candy industry driven holiday where selfish children leave their homes with empty pillowcases stay out with their friends until one in the morning (waking people up) and return with a loot big enough to provide them with cavities for the rest of puberty. If you don't believe me how crazy it gets just look at Jimmy Kimmel's experiment. I'm sure you've all seen it. 

This is what happens with too much sugar, folks. You're all thinking what I'm thinking now, huh? Plus trick or treating is cold. It's the middle of October for crying out loud....why didn't they put this holiday in the middle of June. There's nothing exciting in June! And it's warm. I love this holiday less and less each year. The only thing good about it is pumpking carving. But really I could do that whenever I want. Maybe in celebration of Thanksgiving?