Long Known Strangers

A few years ago I did something I wasn't sure I was capable of doing. I forgave. It took me a long time to even acknowledge that I was angry at my dad. I shrugged the feelings I had towards him off and just told myself that there were other reasons I didn't want to be a part of his life. But the truth was I was mad at him and I blamed him for a lot of the things that went wrong in my life. The hardest people to forgive are the people you love the most. But hate only hurts one person and that person is you. Letting go of that hate was the hardest most rewarding thing I ever did. Well, a few weeks ago I put that forgiveness to the test and I went to see my dad for the first time in five and a half years. I knew that it was going to be a difficult experience but what I found was different than what I expected. The man that sat in front of me (or I saw, it's a computer screen, kind of like skype) was a total stranger. I no longer knew this person. I had built up all of the wonderful memories that I had of him and forgotten all of the bad ones but the person I saw wasn't any of those memories. He was a decrepit shell of what once was. The mistakes he had made and the path he chose led him to a place in life where everything he loved was completely inaccessible to him. What kind of life was it to live and never see anyone you love? I know I will never make the same mistakes as my father and I know I will never end up in the same position as him but having his example has taught me great gratitude for the knowledge that I have to make decisions that progress me towards a happier life not stall me in the present.

Two Thousand and Fourteen

Goodness I've been bad at this blogging thing lately. I'm sorry! Life has been incredibly crazy. Christmas break was amazing! I loved spending time with my family and my cute boyfriend. It was a great break.
School right now is insane. My classes aren't actually that hard and I'm only taking twelve credits this semester so you would think that I would be fine. However, this semester I am applying for practicum and that is stressful. It's a lengthy process and slightly competitive. I am not excited about it. It also makes it very real that I am a grown up and now I have to make grown up adult decisions that will affect me for pretty much the rest of forever.
Speaking of forever! I am getting married my friends! Please feel free to squeal right here. I don't have  a ring yet but we're pretty much engaged. And I'm pretty much completely and totally in love. June 14. In case you were interested in knowing when. And I have a dress already. And June can't come fast enough! It's taking soooo long.
Things right now are so crazy and so amazing. I am very happy where I am even if it does bring it's own challenges and stress. This year is going to be amazing and I am very excited for the time I get to be a better me and to learn all of these new things about life and myself and to grow in ways I've never thought or been able to. Life is weird, weirdly wonderful!