Out with the Old?

I love my roommates. I love my "adopted" family. And I love my life. I am so blessed to have been born to such a wonderful and glorious dispensation. And I am so blessed to have a Heavenly Father who loves me and takes care of me everyday whether I know it or not. I know that every decision that I have made in His guidance has led me to where I am. That without the help that He has sent me I wouldn't be where I am. I wouldn't be who I am. I know that growing up and moving on is apart of life. That things change and some of those things will never be the same again. But just because I understand this, and just because I know that it is the way it is supposed to be, just because I am a better person today than I was yesterday, doesn't make it easy. Sometimes, I think, it makes it harder. I miss old friends. I miss my family. Sometimes, I even miss my life. I know none of those things will ever be the same for me ever again, and that hurts. Occasionally, I feel like I had this whole other identity that I left behind when I moved in with my "sister." I became something else. I was given a fork in the road and told to pick a direction. Though, I know who I am is better than who I was, I still sometimes miss that know-it-all, snarky, stubborn, wise-crack who never backed down to anyone. I am different. Every once in a while I feel like I'm not even really me. I have this whole life, this whole persona, that my biological family will never understand, will never know. Part of me hurts that I will never have the opportunity to be close to them again. The other  part hurts because they don't care enough to want to be that close. I know that I am who I am for a reason. I chose the road that I chose for a reason. Heavenly Father has a plan for me. He knows me. He loves me. And He will always lead me right. I do trust Him. Sometimes it is just harder than others.

My "Worthwhile" Time

It's finals week! For college students this means that A) we may finally get some sleep B) we should probably study more than we actually do and C) we aren't getting out of bed until it is absolutely necessary. Which is why I have spent the last four hours lying in bed writing an extra credit paper and watching episodes of Merlin. Time well spent? Oh, yes. However, I have recently come to the realization that despite it being finals week the rest of the world is continuing on as though unaffected. How odd, I know. Therefore as a last chance to pretend I'm actually doing something on the internet instead of just lying in bed unproductively (I mean, really? Would I ever do that?) I am writing on blogger. Unfortunately, I have nothing more of substance to say to you. I am now off to explore the world I have ignored this semester. Wish me luck!